Sunday, December 19, 2010

Life isn't easy


I walk into my school. Everybody smiles to me, and they expect me to smile back. They think I’m such a happy girl and have no problems. What they don’t know, is that behind every smile there is something inside me that just wants to break down and cry. I’m actually not a happy girl and I do have a lot of problems. But when did all this pain start? When did my life became the saddest life a person ever can have?
Let me tell you about the first day at high school, and my eyes catches a girl sitting on the corner far away from me. I thought I would be so happy if  I end up in the same class as her, and I did. We became very good friends, and after few months we started to flirt and everything. I got feelings for her and I was so sure about that she also felt the same for me. My feelings for her only got stronger and stronger, I was in love. At the end I just had to ask her, if  she also felt the same way about me. I wish I could go back to yesterday when everything was so much better and I still had her by me side. The answer from her was “I don’t feel the same way about you, I was just having fun with you, but not more then that”.
Today she doesn’t even speak to me or look at me, and now I wish I never was in the same class as her. It looks like I don’t exist longer. I lost something very important that day, but I have also lost a lot of my friends and my school degrees are just going down. I basically have no reasons to live anymore. What is the point of living, when everyday is just a day with pain and nothing more? I wish some one could answer that question!

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