April : The End.

 

 

What has happened to me?
I used to know exactly what I wanted.
I wanted us to be together.
I wanted to be yours.
But now I don't feel like I'm not good enough.
I feel like I have failed and don't
deserve another chance.
You deserve better than me.
You deserve someone that would never hurt you.
I have hurt you and I am scared I will do it again.
And the next time I do,
I wont get another chance.

Most people say we were meant to be together.
And I used to think that too.
But now I don't know what to think.
Should I just let you go
So you can find someone better?
Someone that deserves a great person like you?
Or should I stay with you and hope
I don't mess everything up again?

You are the kind of person that will give anyone a second chance.
Even if they don't deserve it.
You have given me a lot of second chances
And after I broke your heart once,
I feel like I don't deserve a second chance.
I messed up in the worst way possible
And no one should have to go through that kind of heartache.

All I really want is for you to be happy.
And I think the best way for that to happen
Is if you are not with me...

S.
I love you with all my heart
But I don't deserve you.

2015 : All about me and me and me !

20th Birthday

so, it's March again and i'm officially 20 years old! yeah3.. i'm old, but not that old, right ? before my birhtday I don't really feels like celebrating, I feels like some kind of dark cloud over my head and grumpy. I don't know why, maybe because i'm turning 20 years old this year, the figures kinda make me scared.

So, when I woke up, I don't feel like doing anything. Then I get text messages from one of my friend saying that "Come over". I know they're definitely planning something, something nasty ! I can smell it ! but it's cool, I wanna know what they really up to. By the time I got there, just sitting there, talking and this 'guy' throwing me some flour all over me, later on, my friends join him, I barely see what's going on, that is just phucking nasty ! Not just that, after they throw at me flour, it didn't stop there. They open the pipe and spray water all over me! can you imagine flour + water = really really sticky ! but i'm not mad at all, I think thats funny and kinda fun. haha 

-And not to forget, Thank you for all of you wishing me happy birthday and the gifts too. I really appreciate it and I don't know how to repay you guys. I'm very happy !Did you see it, i'm smiling ! :D :)

Love Life

I think it has been almost a year i've been single. It sound pathetic right..yeah, i know.. I'm kinda jealous when I go out with my friend, they all bring their own partner and I was like sitting there and "hey, I have new apps on my phone". That just sounds really really sad ! But I do really have a lot of guy friend but just friend, nothing more.I think i'm not ready for that kind of relationship, maybe because of my past love life.. Yeah, it takes me a year to get over it and move on with my life. I don't expect anything from anyone. If he's happy without me, why should I be sad? I'm happy for him too. :) Finally, I can look at him and smile. I don't feel that kind of hurt anymore. When I look at him, I feel nothing. :) That is the greatest success in my life and wisest decision ever made, MOVE ON.

 

Well, thats it I guess. 

I love you 

xoxoxo